Celebrate Your Age

We all know age is relative to whomever is doing the aging.  Those older than us often wish they were still so young.  Those younger than us sometimes dread the day when they'll reach our age.

The aftermath of my bone marrow transplant makes explaining my age a bit strange.  I'm 33 years old, but my immune system is only 10.5 months old.  My mom was there for my first round of infant immunizations, and now she's there as I receive the same immunizations a second time.

Other parts of me, however, are more akin to a 50, 60, or 70 year old because of the prednisone (steroids to keep GVHD in check) and pre-transplant conditioning regimen (high dose chemo and radiation).  For example, my optometrist told me I can expect to get cataracts any time in the next few years.  My heart, liver, digestive system, and bone density may have some long term damage.  I can no longer have biological children.  

All at once, I'm an infant, in my mid 30's, and retirement age.  It's a bit bizarre.

Despite those transplant complications (which I will happily endure because, hello, I'm still alive!), what really put age into perspective for me was facing my mortality.  There were so many days last year that I prayed, begged, and pleaded with God to let me grow old with my husband, watch my daughter grow up, and give me more time to live.   

Mom and I recently had a conversation in which she lamented the fact that she will turn 60 this year.  I told her that I would love to reach age 60.  And that she should celebrate because her birthday means she's had 60 years of a pretty good life under her belt.  She says she'll never complain about aging again. 

I can empathize with her initial perspective because, really, who of us hasn't complained about aging at one time or another?  I recall a time when I had a great deal of anxiety about turning 30.  

No more.  Now I proudly share my age with anyone who asks.  

Faced with losing it all, I have a renewed (and in my opinion, better) outlook on age.  I am truly grateful for and celebrate every. single. milestone.  Even as an infant/33/60 year old.  

I know this is a bit preachy, but it's so freeing to set age-related anxiety aside and just own it.  Celebrate being alive, no matter your age!